If you want to send any photos from the party please send them to:
katiesfight@googlemail.com
Thank you



Monday, 4 January 2010

Today Giles has bought the laptop in so I can write myself. I get all the comments on my blackberry anyway - so can read what you all write as soon as you have. Thanks so much!
So - I'm definately in till Wednesday and I'm feeling the emotional strain of being away from the family. It's lovely that Giles is spending as much time as he can here but I've only seen Evie once and am missing them terribly. Giles was here when we were given the results of my CT scan today and I hit a real low. I have melanoma in so many places I can't remember them all! Its grown in my lungs (now in both) in both breasts causing pain, in my adrenal glands, spine, peritoneum and possibly bowel. Also partially obstructing the vein (superior vena cava) draining from my head & arms. It's a lot to take in. So much change in a tiny amount of time. Its spreading like wildfire. I'm wondering how much more the children will see of me and there's so much i need to still do! What's more they may have to delay my last hope - chemotherapy. Keeping everything crossed that it'll still go ahead before all my organs pack up & its not possible! So please send me some jokes/ something to laugh at. This is my longest hospital stay ever when I didn't even expect I would be staying.

51 comments:

Anonymous said...

Katie you are very brave and inspirational.
I am praying for you everyday and really hope the chemo has some effect and at least lessens the pain to a bearable level.

My joke:-
"what did the plate say to the other plate? Dinners on me!"
sorry I know it's rubbish but it is megan's favourite joke and it used to really Annoy Bethany because she used to tell it all the time.

Those we love don't go away,
they walk beside us everyday,
unseen, unheard but always near,
still love, still cherised and very near

love and best wishes
louise x

Anonymous said...

Hi! Another yoga friend of Sara's here. My one & only joke is ...
Q. What is green & hairy & goes up & down?
A. A gooseberry in a lift!

Dreadful I know but worth a smile!

Glad that you got to see Mamma Mia!

With much love & healing energy
Sarah C
x

Anjella said...

Hi Katie - not good, but here goes:

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

and another:

Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener!

Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be alright.

Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The toast is getting cold!

So sorry - they're pretty bad hey!

Hope you'll appreciate the blonde ones, as your such a beautiful blonde yourself - always were -

Massive hugs to you

Anjella

Anonymous said...

Hi katie

Did you hear about the cowboy who wore paper trousers?
He was arrested for rustling!

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itis

Sorry Katie i could only remember these awful Christmas cracker jokes i hope they make you laugh or maybe smile but hopefully not cry!

Love Andrea

Liz said...

Sorry Katie I don't do jokes as I always ruin the punchline. Laurie has loads but none fit for publication!
We have all got our fingers and everything else crossed for you and hope that you'll be home with your family soon.
Love Liz

Anonymous said...

I am a friend of Saras and have been so moved by your blog that I wanted to wish you well. Your family are so beautiful as are you ...good luck and keep up your positive spirit.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Katie,

Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick

(One for Giles now:)
A man walks into his doctor's office with a lettuce leaf sticking out of one of his ears."Oh my! That's unusual", says the doctor.
"That's just the tip of the iceberg!" says the man.

Two fonts walk into a bar. The barman says," Sorry, we don't want your type in here".

All my love, Amanda xx

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie

We are thinking about you all the time and are praying that the chemo works. Tell Giles to let us know if he needs any help we really dont mind. Looking forward to seeing your return to Jasmine very soon. Hopefully the following will bring a smile to your face:

A man orders a pizza and waiter asks if he should cut it into six pieces or twelve, make it six says the man I could never eat 12

Good King Wenceslas rings up his local pizza parlour, the usual please - deep pan, crisp and even

Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team? He took too long to put his boots on!

Two flies having a game of football in a saucer, our game had better improve soon says one, next we are playing in the cup!

Lots of love to you

Julia and Steve (No. 10)
xxx

Nadia said...

OK here is my sons favourite joke.......

What do cows like to do on a saturday night............. go to the mooooo vies.....

Katie my heart and sole is with you.My thoughts are with you and the family.

Nadia

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie,

We are amazed at your courage and although only neighbours for a short time we care about you greatly. We are praying that the treatment will continue and that the chemo has an impact.

Joke:
'who looks after the Farm when the Farmer is on holiday?'
'the Pharmacist'

Sure you will of heard it before but it's the only pharmacist joke we know (thats printable!)

Thinking of you always and look forward to seeing you 'out the front'

All our love

Rob, Mel, Harry & Charlie

Anonymous said...

Katie, always thinking of you. It must be so hard for you not seeing the children, I know a hug from them would mean so much. Glad you have the internet to update us, hoping you will get home to them soon.

This is my hubbies most fav joke, sorry it is really bad but here goes...

Two fish in a tank, one say to the other....

"How the hell do you drive this thing".

Sorry..xxx

Love and hugs, Nichola, Simon, Maddi, Sonny & Evie..

Sharon Day said...

Hi Katie
The only joke I ever remember is
" What colour is a hiccup?"
Burple!
Sorry I know it's bad.

Really sorry to hear about all you are going through at the moment- mentally and physically. I am thinking about you all the time and praying for you. Hope you are back home with your family soon.
Will try and think of some better jokes.
Lots of love
Sharon xx

Anonymous said...

Hello, Katie,
Big cuddles and hundreds of prayers are heading your way from cold Scotland...

This is a good joke - one of my favourites from 'Mary Poppins';

I know a man with a wooden leg called Smith....
What's the name of his other leg?!!

I think that's really funny, I hope it raises a smile from you and yours.
Kisses..
Vonnie.

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie
Jo P sent me your blog address and it was really good to read about your fantastic holidays and Mama Mia trip.

As you missed the b&b xmas party you didn't get to hear this stunning cracker joke.

Why don't robots have brothers? (drum roll)...

Because they have transisters! Ha ha ha, I can hear you laughing from here, but Joseph liked it.
Daisy is 10 months old today and is trying hard to move about which is hair raising at times and very vocal (chatting at 3am for an hour).

I've been thinking of you a lot over Christmas, you are in prayers and I send you love from deep inside my heart to you and Giles. Hope you get the treatment and home very soon.
Love Rachel x

claire Churchhouse said...

Katie,

Its Claire Sawyer here.. I was in Roberts Class at school and the (Factory Children) if you remember!? I have a copy!!!

Juliana has been keeping me updated on how you are and what's been happening over the last year and gave me your blog address.

I have been reading your blog for some time now and have always wanted to write something but never quite know what to say or how to say it.... or even if you remember me that well..

But you are one of the bravest, amazing, strong woman I have ever come across.. I pray and hope that all works out for you and the pain starts to fade and that you can have the chemotherapy that you need.

My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago I don't know if you remember her she's 38 so very young and so very unfair to have to witness as a family someone you love go through so much pain.

But I want you to know that I think of you and your family often and am praying for you all.

Be strong, my thoughts and prayers are with you. much love, Claire xxxxx

Anonymous said...

hi katie,
just got back from malaysia and thought i'd check your blog to see how you are. so very sorry to read your latest update. i am praying for you with all my heart and thinking of you, giles and the kids. missing you so much and wishing you well. if there's anything i can do to help (school runs, food shopping, babysitting, etc), please text me. would be happy to help.
lots of love and big hugs, sonja, raz, joshua and yasmin (no.17) xxxx

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie,

You and the family are in our daily prayers for strength and courage. You are never far from our thoughts. Just a few sentences about love which we hope will make you smile. All our love Lisa, Mark & NatalieXXX

"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7
"Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." -- John, age 9
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when Dinosaurs is on television." -- Jill, age 6
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." -- Ava, age 8
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." -- Regina, age 10
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." -- Dave, age 8

Anonymous said...

Katie,
The only jokes I know are David's (age 6)

'What did the little boy say when he fell down the toilet???

Weeeeeeee!!!!'

"what do you call a monkey playing the drums ???"
"A baboon!!! "

"What did one pencil say to the other?? "
you're looking sharp!!

Hope they make you smile- Sam and Sophie might appreciate them!

Thinking and praying for you.
Love
Sharon and Rob

Liz and Chris Halliday said...

Katie, you are in our thoughts and prayers so much. We hadn't read your blog for a few days and are so upset to hear about the pain you have been going through and your scan results today.
We hope and pray that the chemo isn't delayed.
With love
Liz and Chris xx

Jill said...

Hi Katie,

Not done the blog thing before, and you're probably going to block me after this. I just couldn't resist it. Toilet humour I know, but hoping it will do the trick. Sending you lots and lots of beautiful thoughts and wishing you a comfortable night. Jill x

Two blonde girls walk into a department store. They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Nancy sprays it on her wrist and smells it, ‘That's quite nice, don't you think, Kathy?’

Kathy takes a sniff and replies, ‘That is nice. What's it called?’

‘Viens a moi,’ replies Nancy.

‘Viens a moi? What the heck does that mean?’

At this stage the assistant offers some help. ‘Viens a moi, ladies, means 'come to me' in French.’

Nancy takes another sniff, then offers her arm to Kathy again, and remarks, ‘That doesn't smell like come to me. Does that smell like come to you?’

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie. I'm truly sorry to hear of the struggles you are going through right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers and like others, if there is anything I can do to help with anything at all, just shout.

Ok, first a joke - why did the elephants get banned from the swimming pool?
Because they kept dropping their trunks! *boom, boom*

Second, something Melissa said on Friday when we were all sat on the settee watching the last Doctor Who episode which made us laugh and you might appreciate with a wry sense of humour with having your own little sweeties:
It was at the end when the Doctor was saying his goodbyes, Melissa looked up at me and said with a puzzled expression "Mummy, why have you got drips on your face?" and I couldn't help but laugh through the tears!
Some nice cheesy jokes from others on here as well as few rude ones to keep up the toilet humour!!
Wishing you a restful night.
Mandi (Melissa's mum)

Rosie said...

Dear Katie,
not sure I can top Jill's joke but here's one I quite liked when I read it :
(I didn't choose the names!)

Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little chat. "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said,
'Here try these on.'
So she did and said, 'These are too big. I can't wear them."

So I replied, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.

Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

Jack thinks that might be good advice. So on his honeymoon, Jack takes off his pants and says to Jill, "Here, try these on."

She does and says, "These are too large; they don't fit me."

So Jack says, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."

So Jill takes off her pants, hands them to Jack, and says, "Here, you try on mine"

He does and says, "I can't get into your pants."

Jill says, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will."

---

And here's a real-life quote from Mia from Christmas Eve bedtime which made me smile -
As I was putting her in bed & talking about Father Christmas coming, I told her that if she wakes up in the night she could listen out for sleigh bells. She agreed, and then she said 'And I'll listen out for the hoes'
I looked at her puzzled -hoes?

"Yes -I'll listen for the Ho-Ho-Ho's "!!
Bless her!

Katie, we're all hoping and praying and really really really wishing that the treatment has the right effect and that you'll be able to come home soon. Big hugs

Rosie & Mick & girls
xxxx

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie,

Q: What did the size zero woman say to the size 2 woman when the size 2 woman asked,"Does my bum look fat in this?"
A: Yes it does.

Is this funny? I'm not sure, and I'm not even sure if the sizes are the right way round! Anyway, I can never remember jokes, so I made this one up (obviously).

Can't imagine what you're going through. I just know that you are handling it all so incredibly.

The chemo is going to work and you'll be home with your family soon.

Thinking of you.

lots of love
Julie
PS love the blue coat - so snazzy.

Anonymous said...

Toby was setting off to work one morning. On his way out he said "I'll be home around half five." When he was gone Max said "Mummy is daddy going to watch Hi-5?" I had to laugh at the thought of Toby watching kids programs at work all day!
Joke - What a con these oven gloves are. I've had a casserole in one for 3 hours and it's still not cooked!
Much love to you brave, beautiful girl. Karen

Anonymous said...

Katie, I just can't imagine what life must be like for you at the mo. We are all thinking of you and send hugs, cuddles and more. We have our fingers crossed like everybody else that the chemo has impact.
Just get Giles to shout if he needs any help.
Love Jan, Mark, Chloe and Abby

Now for the joke...I found it funny anyway, clearly not as rude as Jills!!!

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.
The waiter comes and takes their drink order.
"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.
"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.
The drinks are brought out and the waiter takes their orders for dinner.
"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter
approached the table & asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
"I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," exclaimed the third little piggy.
"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter! to the third little piggy,
"but why have you only ordered water all evening?"
The third piggy says,
"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

Debra Foley said...

Dear Katie and Giles, You and the little ones are never far from our thoughts and prayers. As for jokes how's this: A Blonde wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a Handyman/person, and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well how much would you charge to paint my Porch." The Blonde said "How about £50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation, and said to her Husband, "Does she Realize that the Porch goes all the way around the house?" The Man replied "She should, She was standing on the Porch". A short time later, The Blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" He asked. "Yes." The Blonde answered. "And I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50. "Oh and by the way." The Blonde added. "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." ********* All our Love, Debra, Kevin and The Girls xoxo

Anonymous said...

Katie you continue you to be yourself whatever this horrible disease is doing to your body - brave, inspirational and so brave asking for jokes so soon after Christmas Crackers!

So here goes- Why are barbers the best drivers? Because they always know the short cuts!!

With all our love Clare Ian and Co xxxx

David said...

Katie and Giles
Sorry I am no good at jokes, can never remember the punchline, there are so many good jokes here we hope they have brought a smile to your face, but not made the pain worse because you have laughed so much. My favourite is the one about the doctor, the lettuce and the iceberg. I will be looking in people's ears today wondering just what I might find!
You are in our thoughts.
Love David and Beverley

Jill said...

OK, so as I was up at 2 o'clock this morning with this little ditty hatching in my crazy head, I thought at least I'd better share it with you.

I took my Christmas tree down today,
and as I released the fairy I did say.
I have this friend who's totally gorgeous,
she's really poorly and so courageous.

Could you please grant me a wish and help my friend's illness pass,
She opened her eyes and sternly said, "You're joking, after you've stuck that tree up my arse"!

I told her your story and showed her your blog,
and after she gathered herself and ceased her sob,
She waved her wand and cast her spell,
She's only small so who can tell?

If all the wishes and all the spells can gather up together.
Who knows what can be achieved. A Happy ever after.

Fairy don't let us down, you know what we're all after, cos that tree will make you frown and my tears will turn to laughter.

Jx

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie, spoke to Jo p this morning and she told us you are in hospital, warm and snug in a nice warm bed, while we are all stressed, freezing cold and out of breath from walking up that bloody hill, after 2 weeks off. ha ha

No really, I’m so sorry to hear your in there and not with your Family. You need to get as much rest as you can, so when you come out you will be strong, so you can have lots more fun with Sophie, Sam and Evie. You are a very brave and inspirational lady and I’m glad to know you.

I saw Giles pushing the wonky buggy up the hill so it might make him buy you a new one.

We are all thinking of you. If you or Giles need anything you only have to ask. Sam is always welcome to come for tea if he wants to or you need him to.
Michelle (Oliver's mum)

Ps Oliver’s Joke
"What do penguins have for lunch?"

Ice burgers!!!

annie said...

Dear Katie

here is my fav joke: two cows in a field. one cow says "moo" and the other cow says "blow me i was going to say that"!

my thoughts and prayers are with you, giles, Sophie, Sam and Evie and your mum and dad.

lots love and hugs annie x x x

Anonymous said...

Hang in Katie and focus on getting home. Thinking about you and praying all the time. Don't give up ever -you are too precious to so many to lose. There is no right thing to be be said - just know that your courage and goodness and true beauty shines out with such power.
Not a thing to relay online but we have had flea problems in our house over the years -Frontline has failed us! I like this one:
"Waiter there's a flea in my soup!"
"I'll tell him to hop it, sir"
Much love Pam and Gary

Marianne said...

Dear Katie
It was so lovely to see you on Sunday, and looking so calm and well, and really not at all like someone with spreading melanoma. If looks are anything to go by, you are sticking around for a bit for sure. I hope so much that you get the chemo as soon as possible. I know you will feel then like you are doing something positive. I'm glad you've been able to have a bit of a rest as well, although I can guess exactly how hard it is to be away from Giles and the children. Stay strong and calm and know that you are surrounded by much love and warmth from all of us.
I will send you a joke separately, I can't think of any but I will find one! The others have made me laugh too!
lots of love
Marianne

Fiona said...

Hello Katie,

I do hope that you are feeling more comfortable and that the chemotherapy isn't delayed any longer.

Hopefully you will be home tomorrow and back with Giles and the kids, watching the snow fall, drinking hot chocolate and keeping warm!

Anyway (from one blonde to another!) here's my joke:

Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?

... so brunettes can remember them!

Hee hee

Lots of love, thoughts and prayers

Fiona x

charles said...

Hi

The jokes we have are a bit like laurie's unprintable !! glad you had a good time in Florida and Lapland.Thinking of you.

Charles & Carol

laurie said...

A joke from Laurie:
Son to Dad:- 'I have got a part in our school-play'
Dad to son:- 'What part?'
Son:- 'A married man'
Dad:- 'Don't worry son, you will get a speaking part some day!'

Michaela said...

Hey beautiful girl
'Mr Big Stuff' was playing in the background of a TV programme the other day and I was transported right back to your car on our way to school all those years ago - remember that??!

Looks like you might be all joked out, but here's another one:

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

Thinking of you darling and hope you can be home soon with your lovely family.

All my love and lots and positive hugs and kisses,
Mic xx

Anonymous said...

Katie you are the first mummy friend i met. I can't think of any jokes at the moment but it does make me laugh thinking how funny we must have looked trying to do yoga with our big round tummies!!
You are the bravest person I know
lots of love
Helen, James, Maisie, Emily and Jessica xxx

Christel said...

Dear Katie,
I am thinking of you lots and keeping my fingers crossed for you. Lots of love
Christel Ainge

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie my mummy (Hollie)says your not very well and you would like some jokes to make you smile. Here is my joke:

Once there was an english cat called 'One Two Three' and a french cat called 'Une Deux Trois'.They decided to have a race from England to France and guess who won? The English cat of course because 'Une Deux Trois cat sank!

he he he, hope you like it love Raven (age 8)
from fair isle.xxxxxxxxxxx

Lynne said...

Dear Katie & Giles
So glad you were able to go & see Mama Mia(terrific show).We are both praying for you & your lovely family.Unfortunately neither of us know any jokes, how sad is that!!!!!
Loads of Love
Sue & Lynne (Hertford Clinic)

Anonymous said...

Hello Katie. This is Ythan. I am Ravens brother. This is my joke:

Patient: Doctor, doctor how can I stop people ignoring me?

Doctor: Next please!

HA HA HA
Love Ythan(6)

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie
I'm Fyntan, Raen and Ythan's older brother. Here is my joke.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I'm loosing my memmory.

Doctor: How long has this been going on for?

Patient: How long has what been going on for?!

Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I'm loosing my memmory.

Doctor: You certainly are, you told me that a minute ago!

He he he.
Love Fyntan (age 10)

Anonymous said...

A baby polar bear and its mother are walking along through the snow when the baby says "Am I really a polar bear mum?" His mother replies "Yes ofcourse you are, just look at your shiney white polar bear fur" and they continue to walk. A little later the baby polar bear says "But Mum am I really a polar bear?" She again replies "Ofcourse you are look at your little black polar bear nose" and the continue to walk once again. A short while later the baby polar bear asks "But Mum, am I REALLY a polar bear?" The mother turns to him and says "Ofcourse you are, look at your big polar bear paws! Now why to you keep asking me this?" The young polar bear then replies "Beacause I'm bloody freezing!"

I hope you like my joke. It made my family laugh. I am Lachlan by the way Hollie Shaw's son and she has got us all to write a joke to you to try and cheer you up. I hope it has it's desired effect!
Lots of love Lachlan.

pat said...

Dear Katie,
Man says to wife "what would you do if I won the lottery" wife says "I'd take half and leave you" man says "excellent, I won a tenner here's £5 so off you go."

Praying for you and your fsmily and hope you have the chemo tomorrow, your so brave.

Much love Pat xx

Natalya said...

I'm another Yoga friend of Sara's sending love and good wishes from Dubai. I've been thinking about you all day as my cousin in New Zealand has just had a masectomy herself. I do hope that these jokes have helped to lighten your day and that you will only receive improving news from now on!

Best wishes,
Natalya

Anonymous said...

Katie,
First blog I have ever written .

You are fighting this with such courage , that you are truly an inspiration.
My daughter ( sarah) sends you this joke.

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye ?......
A "do you think he saw us" ........

Sending you my best wishes
April

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie
Hope you've already climbed the steepest battle and with chemo can start to really fight this terrible disease that you have no control over.
Here are some Irish jokes for you:

Woman 1: Does this skirt make my arse look fat?
Woman 2: No Chocolate makes your arse look fat!

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Irishman were in a pub talking about their children.

'My son was born on St George's Day, 'remarked the Englishman, 'So we obviously decided to call him George.'

'That's a real coincidence, 'observed the Frenchman, 'My daughter was born on Valentine's Day, so we decided to call her Valentine.'

'That's really incredible, 'drawled the Irishman, 'Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake.'

Some oneliners:
The Irish attempt at scaling Mount Everest was a valiant effort, but it failed: They ran out of scaffolding.

The Doctor was puzzled 'I'm very sorry Mr O'Flaherty, but I can't diagnose your trouble. I think it must be drink.'

'Don't worry about it Dr Cullen, I'll come back when you're sober.' said O' Flaherty


Hope the laughter from all the jokes carries you through to happier times!
Sending love and prayers
Bronagh xxxx

louise and david said...

poldHi Katie,
From a brunette to a blonde:
3 blonde girls are stranded on an island, a fairy grants them all one wish each. The first asks to be intelligent; the fairy changes her into a brunette,she then gets up and swims off the island.
The second blonde asks to be more intelligent than the first,the fairy changes her hair to black; she gets up and builds a boat and sails off the island.
The third girl wishes to be more intelligent than the previous 2 girls, so the fairy changes her into a man, he gets up and walks over the bridge!
Oh dear sorry !
Austin likes this one:
A mum takes her little girl to the ballet, they watch the performance with the ballerinas dancing on their toes then afterwards the mummy said did you enjoy it, what did you think of it ? The little girl replied its a lot of fuss and bother why dont they just get taller girls to dance ?!!
Knock Knock
whos there?
snow
snow who?
snow business like show business!!
Thinking of you lots, hope you get to come home in the morning, sleep easy. Love Louise David Austin and Amos xx
Sorry one more from Austin!:-- It's his favourite.
Knock knock
who's there?
Doctor
Doctor Who?
you said it !!!
sorry he's only 8 x

Suze said...

Hi Katie, from Suze at Hanbury, (got your blog details from Jill)Just wanted you to know we have all been thinking of you over Christmas and praying for better news. We have known you such a short time but you have taught us the importance of appreciating every single day. You were particularly in our thoughts as we slogged round the Maddy run this morning, no-one else could wrap cling film round their i-pod and still look stylish!
Less stylish was Jackson's attempt to run over a cattle grid today, picture him marooned on his tubby belly with all four legs stuck between the bars. We won't be recruiting him to the running club any time soon...
My favourite clean joke is the one about the dyslexic man who walks into a bra...
Love from Suze and Maddyxx

adrian fletcher said...

Hi Katie, hubby and kids.So you want jokes do you, well you asked for it. To give you a (bad) taster of what you can expect read below..

lesbian goes to a gynaecologist and is examined down below. He remarks "Madam, you have a remarkably clean vagina".Woman replies "Yes I know, I have a woman in three times a week".

You can opt out now but if you want more you will have to forward me your mobile number as many will not be suitable for this forum. Most come from patients of mine, some of which are on some heavy duty medication (see BNF 4.2.1).

I can only imagine how excited your kids were going to Lapland and hanging out at Santa's crib.Bells and scattering magic reindeer food around the garden (which amazingly is All-Bran and glitter) sent Ethan and Jodie into fits of apoplexy.We live within Cannock Chase forest which has a complement of deer that becomes seasonally our (cheap-skate) lapland.Mind you, deer on occasion walk down our street, and advising the kids that they are doing a behaviour "reccy" for Santa focusses the behaviour of a young mind somewhat.

In terms of poetry i would highly recommend Wendy Cope.They are mostly about the inadequacies of men, but hey, who am I to argue with biology.She will raise a smile.I can recommend "Flowers" and "Men are Like Buses"

Well ta-ta for now !