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Wednesday, 3 September 2008

2 weeks post-op

Not much has happened this week – apart from a trip to Southend on Monday – Sophie & Sam’s sole trip to the beach this summer! Energy levels were increasing before this but suffered a set-back afterwards – walking around the house doesn’t compare to walking along the seafront! I’m still having problems with sleeping – it feels like the 500 imaginary rubber bands wrapped around my head/ ear get tighter as the day progresses (I actually asked Giles if my head sat crooked on my neck today – I assume the scar tissue is tightening up & shortening the left side of my neck!). I must crack on with the physio – no pain, no gain – eh? The neuropathic pain – (damage to the nerves feels like an intense burning sensation) is also worse at night on my neck/chest/ear/ shoulder.
But that’s just the physical side – that feels like the easy bit. It’s my mind that really needs to be sorted out. Suddenly I have so much time to think about things. All the disturbing thoughts about the future seem to pop up all over the place!
The last month has been a whirlwind of hospital trips etc etc and now being told to take it easy post-op is not my idea of fun. As a mum you feel tired all the time but by keeping going it makes it all so much more bearable. Being hands off the kids makes me feel worse! I am starting to pick Evie up now – but she’s over 8kg - it’s amazing how much you use your neck for everything!
I am not due back at the Marsden now until the 25th September for a full CT scan. This is to see if the melanoma has spread elsewhere. The appointment the following week on 2nd October is the thing I’m dreading – being able to cope with what they tell me. Along with regular scans all they can do is check for enlarged glands elsewhere – but believe me – I’m doing this daily too!
Sophie & Sam went back to school today – and Giles was sent out shopping immediately as we realised Sam’s legs had grown too long for his existing trousers! Giles is weary after his shopping trip & 3 x school runs & complaining of "never getting anything done anymore" – well now he has an inkling of what its like for me – and all other mums!


Mum said...

Darling Katie,
It is only just over two weeks from your intensive op and you are bound to be feeling tired and sore too! You have made tremendous strides torwards normality including coming with me to Sophie and Sam's violin lesson when you were in obvious pain. Although you want to take part in everything they do, you must take the recovery slowly. Lifting an 8kg load off the floor is not an easy task; I find Evie heavier each day I see her!! and was that a tooth you saw?

I think all Dads should have a period of being a 'mum'. They think it's an easy job but we (Mums united) all know that you have to juggle all sorts of things in order to keep the home and family going. You naturally want to do the things you have been doing for the past 6 plus years but Giles is managing very well and you must let him take the load off you!
Keep positive my love, you know you can do it!!
All my love Mumxxxx and Dadxxxx

Annie said...

Hi Katie

Hope you are feeling marginally better physically today.. the mind can be a strange thing though. Keep saying healing thoughts and positive chats to yourself.Yes you get funny looks but that can make you smile.

I'm travelling to Cornwall for a week for some walking and rock pooling. Be thinking of you when I'm looking out to sea from a cliff top path.

love Annie x

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie,
I have spent the morning reading your blog. I cannot echo your Mum's sentiments enough. It is still early days since your op. and the tiredness will be with you for some time. Though I know you must be impatient to pick up the threads of your life measure your days in small steps of achievement - a great morale booster! I know Mum and Dad are a great help and support and it sounds as if Giles is getting to grips with "mum tasks". What an eyeopener our lives can be for Dads! My two still vividly remember living on cheese sandwiches when I was in hospital overnght for a D&C when they were tiny!!!!

Stay strong and positive Katie - I will be thinking of you.

Love Dorothy Barnes

Christel Ainge said...

Dear Katie,
Just to say that Evie gave me a great big smile today when I dropped Elise off to school. She hasn't changed much but she is certainly bigger! Take it easy, Katie. I hope to see you soon,

Sonja said...

Hi Katie,
Just heard the news after being away all summer. I am SO very sorry you are going through this. Please remember I am only 2 doors or a phone call away ANY TIME, if you need help of any kind. Not just help, but a cuppa and a chat too! I am happy to take the kids to school and pick them up - I have to go anyway, so it would be no trouble! My thoughts are with you and I'm giving you a BIG hug along with this 'comment'.
Love, Sonja xxxx

louise and david said...

Hello to all 5 of you!
You sound like you are really doing very well to me. Your household doesn't sound much different from my own!!! mad dashes to uniform shops are pretty much the norm for most of us !
Just wanted to say hello XX

Anonymous said...

Dearest Katie,

I have been reading your blog since Amanda told me your terrible news.

Being a mum of three too, I can't believe how you are coping. I am struggling to find the right words to say to you. Please know that I am thinking of you and your family.

Please keep us posted on your progress and how you are feeling.

All our love,

Nichola, Maddi, Sonny and Evie..xxx

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie,
The IT guru in our family is now back from his holiday, sorry, business trip, so am finally able to send you a 'comment'.
I'm glad that you managed a day at the seaside, even if it left you really tired, I'm sure all the sea air helped clear your head a little. It sounds like Giles is doing a fantastic job and it's definately not doing him any harm having to be 'Mum' for a while. I echo your Mums comments. We're thinking of you every day and I'll call you tonight to catch up with you properly.Lots of love, Neil, Amanda & Cameron xx

Jan@Goffs said...

Fight the good fight, Katie! Sam Appleford is keeping me up to date with your progress and I wish you well. Remember: you're a Goffs Girl!!

Jan Cutler and staff at Goffs

Anonymous said...

It was lovely to see you today, and Giles and the children, and we are so pleased that you are looking more like your usual self than 2 weeks ago. It is encouraging that you are gradually feeling better and that your energy is returning. Don't try to rush things and you must not attempt more than you feel comfortable with; the children are fine, Evie especially and we are sure that all in the house is under control.
Love from us both.
Ursula and Chris

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie You are managing to tell us so much in so few words. So hard not to be able to do everything a Mum does but the main thing is that they just want you there with them. Giles is doing a great job.Hope so much that the pain is easing. People who also have wakeful nights will be thinking about you. Remember that! With Love Pam and Gary xx

Heinz and Rita said...

Dear Katie
We just read your experiences over the internet. We do feel very much with you. Since I (Rita) have myself gone through such experiences, I can really feel what you feel today. Try to gather courage. We do know that the coming days are difficult for you. But we are sure, after all pain and suffering, it will only be joy and satisfaction that will remain. We are deeply united with you in our thoughts and in our prayers. We do hope and believe that you overcome all your present difficulties. May God send you His comfort.
Heinz and Rita from Murg.

Georges and Rosemarie said...

My dear Katie,
Rosemarie and I came here to Murg to Heinz and Rita for a small get together. I just read what you have written about your painful experiences in the internet. I do feel with you. Rosemarie and I wish you from heart a lot of courage and all the best out of the painful experiences that you are going through presently. We are deeply united with you.
Georges and Rosemarie from Winterhofen.

Nicole said...

Dear Katie
We have just come back from a 4 day break with my four grown up kids - and one of the first things I did at home, was to read your news in the hope to read really positive things. I understand so well what is going on in your head. I have had moments like that, when not me, but my child was faced with illness. I think that its just normal and you cant fight it. But try and enjoy the little things your family, your children and your husband brings you. Go and get help, by talking to somebody else than friends and family, if it helps. I keep my fingers crossed, send all my positive thinking to you to England. Lots of love to you all, Nicole

Lynne Cavanagh said...

Hi Katie, just had to type all this again! I need to get a bit more technical!! Just read your blog - cant believe this has happened to you so recently. I am so impressed with the way you have/are dealing with the whole thing and what a great idea to have a 'blog'. Keep going Katie and remember all the mums at school are thinking of you and wishing you well. Best wishes

Jenny Crewe said...

Dearest Katie
I have just heard today about your illness. I can hardly believe that this beautiful, radiant girl that shared a glass of wine with us a couple of months back was ill. You looked so fantastic we were all jealous especially having just had little Evie.
It all seems so hard to take in. Goodness only knows how you are all feeling. My heart goes out to you all.
Try to stay strong and draw support from all your friends and family. You can fight this. It must be horrible when your mind wanders especially at night. Try to mentally change the subject by looking at those beautiful children of yours and thinking about all the funny little things they do to make you laugh.
I hope to see you soon, but in the meantime will keep up with you on your blog.
If there is any help we can give please just ask. Alexandra has now started school with Sam so if I can help with school runs or anything.
I am thinking of you and sending positive thoughts and love to you all.
Take care dear Katie.
With love Jenny, Ash, Alexandra and Valentino. xxxxx