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Tuesday, 9 September 2008

It is now 3 weeks since the operation. The negative feelings are lessening slightly as I start to gain more energy. They’re still happening though. Tonight it looks like the swelling on my neck near my collar bone at the bottom end of my scar is increasing. Maybe it’s a collection of lymph fluid? The whole area is hypersensitive to touch as the neuropathic pain now feels more intense – especially overnight. Maybe I’ll call the melanoma nurse at the Marsden tomorrow for some reassurance (hopefully!) Unfortunately my left shoulder tends to seize up overnight due to the removal of a branch of the accessory nerve and the associated muscle wastage. However I was able to sneeze for the first time yesterday – something I haven’t been able to do since the op. Eating is also getting progressively easier although I still can’t open my mouth that wide and chewing is still cumbersome. My voice although not right is getting stronger.
I’ve had loads of visitors this week – which has been lovely – makes me feel like life is not too abnormal & keeps my mind off the pain! Evie has had lots of baby company too. This is great seeing as her brother & sister are no longer around as much to entertain her.
Jo B mentioned that a friend of a friend had a similar operation for melanoma removal and it’s now 6 years on and there has been no reoccurrence. With her there was no primary source (mole) identified either. They have said at the Marsden that in some patients a primary source is never found and this can be microscopic and burn out of its own accord – so that in effect removing the affected lymph nodes is like removing the primary source. However the primary source could also be affecting internal skin – so it’s just a question of waiting to see if there is further spread.
That’s the monster of the melanoma really. The only signs I had were painless enlarged glands. I felt great. I have never before felt so awake after having a baby! And the cancer had already spread from the primary source! I suppose in a way that’s a bonus because if the melanoma does spread now its feeling ill that gets me down and makes me panic more than anything else.
We booked a mid-week trip to Center Parcs today. Something for us all to look forward to in October.


Mum said...

Darling Katie,
Reading your blog makes me just so proud to be your mum. You are a tremendous example to anyone who reads it, with your honest expressions of feelings, fears and hopes. You have a fantastic ability to listen to others and put things in perspective even though this must be so difficult at times.

I am really glad you have made plans for a short break: I know packing for three children (one of whom has a large amount of baggage) is not easy, but it will do you all so much good. Sophie and Sam will have the holiday they missed out on this summer and hopefully, you will have much better weather than anyone else did in August!!
Keep on fighting my love and remember that you are not alone in this.
All our love as ever,
Mumxxxx and Dadxxxx

Lisa said...

Dear Katie,

Thank you for keeping us up to date. Hopefully it is therapeutic to express your emotions and draw strength from our messages of support.

After all you and the family have been through a few days away will do you the world of good.

I have a couple of books that have a holistic approach to recovery and may give you strength to deal with things post-operatively.

Take care and see you soon

Celia said...

Good to read your update on your blog.Great you have booked Center Parcs. Isn't that where you went with Ursula and Chris once? It is a goal to work towards, but do go at your recovery at a sensible rate. Lovely to see pictures of Sophie and Sam. Would be nice to see one of you 3/4 weeks post op! Continue to take all help offered. Thinking of you all lots

Anonymous said...

Back to school, phew, they look gorgeous though and Evie has you all to herself for a few hours!You are right -there are so many good scenarios so focus on them.Glad to hear about Centre Parks - you will all love it. Thinking about you -brave lady and lovely family! Pam and gary with love xx

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie

have been thinking about you often and wondering how you & Giles are coping with everything. Just been reading your updates and the thing that shines through is your courage and alsothe support you have from family, which is priceless. The photo of you one day post op - you look so beautiful, not as if you'd just been through that huge ordeal. Love the photos of the children - Sophie & Sam look very grown up in their school uniforms and Evie looks simply gorgeous. We will be hoping for good news for you from your next follow up. With love
Patti & Harish

Anonymous said...

Hi again Katie

It was good to catch up the other evening and am looking forward to seeing you again on my next visit to Cuffley, hopefully 28th. Hopefully with the children back at school you'll start feeling like life has returned to some kind of normality. They look very grown up in their uniforms. Glad that you've booked a break too - something to look forward to. Sending you all our love, Neil & Amanda and a big hug from Cameron xx

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie,

I have been reading your blogs today crying my eyes out, Jo P told me about the blog. I think you and your family are very brave and have never read anything so filled with emotion.
I am so pleased you are feeling stronger. You did make me laugh with the Blog about Giles not being able to get anything done, please can he tell my husband how hard it is!!!!
Oliver said he played with Sam today in the nursery playground.

If you need any help with anything make sure you ask. Can't wait to see you back doing the school run.
Michelle (Oliver's Mum)

louise and david said...

Hi there, lovely to hear things are settling a bit.
Centre Parks will be lovely for you all. Have a good weekend this weekend.
love Louise David and all.

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie

We are really pleased you are making progress and are beginning to feel stronger each day. Your blog is brilliant and we think about you often. Please let us know if we can help in any way regarding shopping, school runs etc.

With all our love
Julia, Steve, Clare and Chris
(No. 10)

Bronagh said...

Hi Katie,
Been away with work over the last few weeks so am only catching up on your blog now. Happy to read how strong you are getting over the past 3 weeks. It must be so difficult but it sounds like you are doing well. Hope you are strong enough to hold little Evie...I'm sure she can give you plenty of strength. Was glad to hear that Karen made it down to see you. You are in my thoughts and prayers every day,
Bronagh xxxx

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie
You are an inspiration to anyone that is experiencing any difficulties in their life and you put it all into perspective.
So glad your starting to feel stronger it will be a gradual process but eventually you will be more like yourself and joining us all down the school. Next time my husband is there i'll introduce him to Giles and maybe he can teach him a thing or two ha ha.
You have been in my thoughts all summer and I have kept up with your progress with you fantastic blog.
Stay positive it's the best kind of
healing and strength.
See you soon
Nicola (Ellas mum)