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Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Another traumatic day. This morning was lovely. Was given a priceless "beautiful blonde book of fun" by my bestest friends in Hertford. It's hilarious. They're all posing in blonde wigs with not much on and has made me laugh a lot. Got to Sam's house this morning to see some of them but the pain has been full on and I've been popping oxynorm like sweeties! I started having to use the zimmer frame this morning because my legs were worse than ever. However it was after I had rested on the bed early afternoon that things seemed really bad. I can't walk anymore. I have no balance. My legs slide away from me when I try to get up. I'm wondering how much longer I'll have control over my bladder and bowels - I can no longer feel my pelvic floor and I'm pretty numb up to my waist! Dawn & Julie the district nurses have just been in and brought a load of incontinence stuff and catheters because I'm concerned I might go into retention tonight! They've also ordered some aids so I can hopefully be a bit more independent about the house. But I can't be in the house alone anymore. I've nearly fallen over so many times! They'll scan me again at the Marsden tomorrow but if it's the same spinal tumour growing again there'll be nothing they can do. We haven't faced that news before.


Anonymous said...

Dear Katie - you are so strong and have shown so much courage and dignity throughout the last 18 months- you have shown us all what is important in life- thank you so much.
We are thinking of you all so much and will be sending positive vibes to The Marsden with you tomorrow.
with all our love Clare Ian and Coxxx

Celia said...


I could weep..but that does not help. When the going gets tough the tough get going. That is you. You have faced the cancer onslaught with such dignity. Keep going. My thoughts are constantly with you and Giles and the children. I am thinking shrink for tomorrow at the Marsden.

with our love Celia

laura said...

Dear Katie
I've not written on this before, but i just want to let you know i am always thinking of you.
Love Laura, castlegate.

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie and Giles,
we were both so shocked when we heard from Giles this afternoon.
It was lovely to be with you on Sunday-you looked so beautiful. You never complain and are so brave, and we knew you were in pain.
You are such a wonderful daughter in law who we love so very,very much.
You are the most wonderful Mum to our grandchildren, such beautiful and lovely children who give as so much joy. We wish we lived a little closer.
We are thinking of you all, all the time and love you all so much.
Hope you can sleep tonight.
We pray for you that they can help you at the Marsden.
Lots of love Mum and Dad xxx

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie and Giles,
you are both in my heart and in my thoughts. You looked so glamourous today, keep up the good work! Be thinking of you tomorrow.
Dawn x

Melissa Chappell said...

Keep fighting Katie!

Will be willing you on tomorrow.

Melissa x

Sharon Day said...

Dear Katie
Really hope all goes well tomorrow. We are all willing shrink here. Hope you can get some sleep.
Keep fighting. You are such a dear person and aspiration to us.
All our love
Sharon and Simon xxxxxx

Anna said...

Hi Katie,

We will be thinking of you at the Marsden tomorrow and sending you lots of Welwyn Garden city positive vibes xxxxx

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie,

Thinking of you today, tomorrow at the Marsden, and every day for the strength to face this with the bravery that you have always shown.

A few words of inspiration:
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us

love Lisa, Mark & Natalie

Anonymous said...

It makes me feel sick to the stomach and tears in my eyes to read what you are going through,and I am a stranger! Not one of us can even come close to imagine how you and your family are feeling right now...stay strong! Physically and mentally! Life can be so cruel and always to those that least deserve it... but also has its many ups and downs... I really really pray that this is the lowest part it will reach for you all, and life will work its way up again! xxx Good luck for tomorrow xxx

Anonymous said...

Katie, I have not been in contact with you for years but wanted to send my love to you and your family. You are a beautiful woman and always will be. I remember you at Cuffley school and how much fun we all had with our Cuffley School plays including the Evacuees - when Anna Paris and I were the Jesters dressed in those silly red and yellow costumes and you were playing the part of one of the beautiful children! We had so much fun! You are a true inspiration Katie, I cannot believe what you are gong through and how strong you are. Keep fighting and being positive. Our thoughts are with you all. Lots of Love - Charlotte Morrissey (was Earley)xx

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie

Thinking about you and praying that the Marsden can help you today.

Hope you had a better night.

Love Andrea

annie said...

Dear Katie and Giles

Always thinking of you.

love annie x x x

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie,

I'm sure, that whatever life throws at you, you'll turn and face it. Becuase you will never be alone, and every step will be done with the constant circle of all those who are willing you on around you.
Best of luck today,
lots of love and positive thoughts,
Nicky Max and Aurelia xxx

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie,

Been thinking about you all morning, sending you and your family love and hugs.

Nichola, Simon, Maddison, Sonny & Evie..x

Pat Wordley said...

Dear Katie

Since reading your blogg on Monday I have beed trying to find the right words to say - but I can't.
Instead I have sent you my guardian angel. At the moment your need is greater than mine.



marie said...

Dear Katie Hopefully you will get some help at the Marsden tomorrow.We are thinking of you so brave and beautiful.if wishes could make you well you would be fitter than all us.lots of love and willing you to get better...Marie and Jamesxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

I hope things are getting better for you and the Marsden helped.
I have read all the other comments and they are all true. You have courage, dignity and humour. I read Charlotte's post and those plays are something I haven't thought about in years - it made me chuckle, I hope it did you too. I think I played your mum once and had to wear my nightie!!

Keep strong.
Much love
Catherine Wakelin (Grainger)

Debra Foley said...

Dear Katie and Giles,
You and your little ones have been in our thoughts and prayers every day.
The Girls want me to tell you that they are sending you Rainbow Magic and that they are going to pray Extra Hard.
Sending you positive energy, Still Thinking Shrink.
All our Love,
Debra, Kevin, Niamh and Sorcha (The Girls) XOXOXOX

Liz said...

Dear Katie

I have no words that can express what I feel.
You and Giles are in my thoughts every moment of the day. I hope that they can take your pain away and that you can get some much needed rest.
Love Liz

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie, was shocked to read this after spending a lovely morning with you yesterday. We are praying for you and thinking of you today. All our love, Neil, Amanda, Cameron and bumps xxxxx

Anonymous said...


always in my prayers
forever in my thoughts

keep strong and keep smiling

God bless you

Fran xxx

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie

you are so brave and courageous-keep fighting. We are thinking of you,Giles and the children all the time.
With all our love
Mel Rob Harry & Charlie

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie
I cannot ay anymore than your family and loved ones are saying to you. I just hope that the fact that poeple are thinking about you every day - even those of us who have never had the pleasure of meeting you in person - helps in some small way. We will be keeping our fingers, toes and anything it is possible to cross, crossed for you tomorrow. Love and good thoughts from Hollie Deryk Lachlan Fyntan Raven and Ythan on Fair Isle xxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie.
You do not know me. I am now in Colombia, South America my country. And from here I just want to send you all my love and possitive energy or called it faith because I will be praying for you since I do believe in miracles and you are going to fight this, so be stronger for your beutiful family and form here and Baku I will have you in my prayers.
With all my love, Luz Elena.