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Thursday, 22 October 2009

It has been a confusing and emotional week. But in many ways we’ve been here before – which has meant it has been easier to carry on as normal – because it’s a waste of energy/ life not to. Of course second time around the odds against my survival are stacked sky high (about 18% chance of surviving 5 years) which contradicts any positive thoughts. In one minute I’ll be thinking it’s time to compile memory boxes and be grieving for the kids and the next I’ll be convincing myself I’ll be the Marsden’s medical miracle!
So today we had tried to anticipate what would be said there. We were armed with information and questions. It’s definitely melanoma in my lungs but the rest of my body is clear so far – although I didn’t have a scan of my brain done. They can’t surgically remove it and radiotherapy doesn’t help much. The treatment they use is generally palliative to try and relieve symptoms of the spreading cancer. So at the moment as I have no symptoms they would consider no treatment an option. There are two trials I could be eligible for. One experimental drug may be able to shrink the melanoma but my melanoma must test positive for something called a BRAF gene in order for it to have a chance to work. So we will read the trial info then go back on Monday to sign the consent form for the Marsden to send some of the melanoma sample from my neck over to North Carolina to be analysed. We’ll then have a good 3 week wait to see if it is. The cancer lottery continues….


Rebecca said...

Katie - I was thinking of you today at 3pm. I'm very glad to hear that the cancer hasn't spread anywhere else, so fingers crossed what is there can be shrunk. You are so amazingly brave and positive about everything - it's really inspirational. I look forward to many more trips to Willows with you and Marianne!

Lots of love to all of you, and look forward to seeing you again very soon.

Rebecca, Danny and Amelia xxxxxxx

Jo Bartlam said...

you know that we are always here for you, and that we will always remain positive. You are such a wonderful friend to have. You have been so amazing through this all. You really are a special person.

Sending you a big hug.

Jo Bartlam and Family. X

Marianne said...

Katie, that's so much better than it could have been. As always, there is so much to hope for. Good luck for finding out about the trial possibility in a few weeks. I'll keep everything crossed for you. Well done for being so strong as you waited for today to arrive - it's just so impressive and is a sign of your strength which will help you beat this.
Lots of love
Marianne, Matthew and Jonathan xxx

Dawn said...

Katie, it must be hard for you to write about all of this but you know there are lots of people who love and care for you and who want to help you through this. I'll be keeping fingers crossed for good news on the trial as well. Lots of love, Dawn x

Anonymous said...

Only one thing for it Katie, time to get out the Kylie 12" records from the 1980s...high energy, can't beat Kylie. Apart from Guns and Roses...Sweet Child O Mine ;0) Linsey

Annie said...

keep fighting. family and friends are with you.
lots of love Annie x

Clare Ian and family said...

Katie you never fail to amaze everyone with your courage and positive thoughts.

We are thinking of you all so much.

With all our love Clare Ian and Family xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Katie - I do hope North Carolina come up with the positive news that you and your family need.
You continue to be so wonderful and brave and you never cease to astound me with your strength.


Andrea x

Anonymous said...

Katie, we see each other in passing most days but we rarely get chance to speak. I just wanted to let you know that we are sending you loads of positive thoughts. You have such a vitality about you, you look like could take on the world! With all our best wishes, Alison, Ian, Tom, Emily and Louis x

|Jenny Crewe said...

Dearest Katie
After you told me your news, I have just been hoping that when you went back they were going to tell you they could take it away and it would all be fine. I still cannot believe that you have this horrible cancer back when you look so fit an beautiful.
Everyone is right, one day at a time and enjoy living your life as you have been. If there is an 18% chance then I am sure you will be one of the percentage as you are so positive and you have been doing everything you can to give yourself a fighting chance.
I feel so devastated for you and your family having to deal with this awful news and everytime I look at those beautiful children of yours I know you will find the strength to keep fighting as you have them to inspire you.
My thoughts too for your dear Mum and Dad who must feel so helpless.
Take care dear friend and keep creating more smiles and laughter in your life as however long we all have, it is about how we live it and making the most of our time. Positive thoughts can achieve so much.
Much love
Jenny and family xxxxxxxxxxxx

Sue said...

Katie - I've been thinking about you since I heard your news. I just wanted to let you know we're here for you. If anyone can be Marsdens medical miracle you can!

Sending you much love
Sue Gareth Tommy and Faye x

louise and david said...

Hi to you all, Ursula updated us on the 'relaunch of the blog.'
She was so upset, bless her, we all feel pretty helpless down here.
Been thinking about you alot the past few days, hope you had a lovely birthday. Didn't know we were only 5 days apart in age!! Us Librans are tough you know!
Promise us all you'll keep living your life so vibrantly despite this, you pack so much in - a real example to us all .xx
Look forward to seeing you soon, Austin wants to ride his bike with Sophie and Sam again!!
Love Louise David Austin and Amos.

Anonymous said...

Well Katie - you have the best chance of being the one - and remember too that that there are many miracle stories around - I certainly know about one. You are a super fit lady despite the cancer, just hold onto that its very important. You also have the courage, vibrance and positivity needed for any fight. Greatlove surrounds and protects you but it is your strength that leads the way. Love Pam and Gary

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie and Giles,

You have been through so much already, and come through with such bravery. You can do it again. Thinking about you both and your beautiful children,


Nicky, Max and Aurelia xxx