Thursday, 17 December 2009
I’ve been feeling increasingly healthier since the weekend. Feeling ill and not knowing whether I’d ever feel well again; if it was the cancer causing a start to the decline in my health was frightening and depressing. I’ve still got pains and lumps but maybe they’ll settle down. We’ll see. Thanks for all the lovely comments that have been written. They are all helpful. If melanoma hadn’t recurred we wouldn’t have dreamed of doing two action-packed trips simultaneously so close to Christmas. We’d have considered it far too much like hard work and also waited till Evie was older. But that’s also true of other things we have done in the past year. Cancer has made us get on and do them rather than putting them off until the right time – and then may never have done. Thinking about the future is petrifying – but its human nature to do so. Like reading a book and wanting to skip some of it and sneak a look at how it ends. When people talk about events in a year’s time or sooner, I wonder whether I’ll still be here. But that’s really dwelling on the security I don’t have of a long life (when no-one else has that security either.) I am so, so appreciative of everything I do have. It was fantastic to feel well enough to see the kids in their Christmas performance last night. Thankfully I haven’t missed out on anything they’ve done!